Wednesday, February 22, 2012

The Soccer Cat

One sun shiny day, I woke up and I could not feel my cat on my bed.  I screamed so loud that my mum woke up.  She ran to my room.  She said "What's wrong darling?"
"I lost my cat.  Can I go look for it?"
"Yes" she said.
I got dressed, opened my curtains and made my bed.  I went past the shop, the library and the school and then I saw my cat on the soccer field.  So I ran into the soccer rooms and rang the bell.  Everyone froze.  I got my cat and left.  I asked my cat if she was ok. She said "Meow."  We lived happily ever after.
By Grace

10 comments:

  1. I think you could use a bit more deescribing words

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  2. I liked the bit, your mum said " whats wrong darling".

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  3. I liked it when you said they all froze

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  4. I think you can usre more decribing words

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  5. Your story would be much better if you used more describing words Grace.

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  6. try to use more decribing words

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  7. grace i like your start of your sentenc because you said one sun shiney day

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